There she is. The
most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen looking into the camera, her emails to
you over the past months professing her undying love and now she says she’s
ready to take your relationship to the next level. Yet, in the back of your mind, you can’t
shake the nagging suspicion that it’s all too good to be true. “No one that young and beautiful could ever
really love me like she says she does,” you tell yourself. So, like many others, you search the internet
for proof that that your suspicions are founded and that the young lady who
claims to love you really has ulterior motives.
Without a doubt, you
can likely find negative comments made about any company or organization if you
look for it. Just as easily, you can
find websites claiming that the moon landing was staged, Elvis is still alive
and the Earth is actually flat. Everyone
has an opinion and, with the increasing availability of internet access and the
ease in setting up a free homepage of your very own, everyone has the ability
to share their opinion, unchecked, with the entire world. It does not seem to matter whether the
information is truthful or accurate; opinion is paraded as “fact” without any
regard to the possible repercussions.
This is true even
when it comes to “anti-scam” and “black list” websites, which claim to spread
the “truth” about Russian dating and “mail order bride” services. Now, we won’t comment on whether one such
list or another is telling the truth; we’ll leave that determination up to you
and your own personal experiences. What
we can do, however, is share some tips to help you sort out the facts from
fiction.
How to Judge a Black
List
1. First and foremost,
keep in mind that any website which is considered to be an “International
Marriage Broker” must obey applicable laws which govern their industry; however
the so called “blacklist” websites are not regulated by ANYONE. There are no “official” black list websites
or agencies for the international dating and correspondence industry, so any
information you see posted to these “black list” websites should be considered
the publisher’s subjective opinion. Want
to check with a reliable source? While
there are none specific to international dating and marriage broker services,
there are many official consumer protection organizations which may be trusted,
both within the government as well as in the private sector.
2. Trust your own
judgment. Ultimately, with a little common
sense and objectivity, you are the best judge of what’s really going on. Obviously, if a lady is asking for money or
gifts, cease contact and report her to the site’s administrator. Be cautious about giving out your personal
information. Be wary if she’s in a rush
to meet off the site or too quick in professing her undying love before you get
to know one another. While this doesn’t
necessarily make her a “scammer” since some people are quick to become
emotionally attached to a potential mate, it should raise a red flag. If you are unsure or something doesn’t seem
right, contact the administrator for the site you’re using. A trustworthy service will investigate your
concerns and discuss them with you, no matter the outcome of their
investigation.
3. Accept the fact that very few people do things purely out
of altruism. Such people do exist, but
most people are motivated by personal gain, whether this is monetary or simply
petty revenge. So, when someone offers
something to you, ask yourself “what does this person stand to gain if I accept
and follow their opinions?”
4. Check which websites have purchased advertising space on a
blacklist site, and then compare these sites to the ones who appear on the
“approved” or “safe” list. If you only
see one or two advertisers and they’re high up on the “safe” list, it is
possible the “blacklist” owner is receiving kickbacks from the “approved”
website. You should especially be
suspicious if links to these sites appear to be part of an affiliate program,
where the blacklist publisher receives money in exchange for traffic sent to
the linked site.
5. Look closely at reports that come as a result of a failed
relationship. Sadly, many women are
accused of being “scammers” simply because of a personal dispute. The dissolution of a relationship can be very
painful and sometimes, in pain, a man will stretch the truth or even outright
lie to make the woman seem much more villainous…and make themselves seem more
like the victim. So always take
post-breakup reports with a very large grain of salt. If you weren’t there and don’t know either of
the people involved personally, it’s impossible to know what REALLY happened
when the couple broke up.
6. Watch out for disgruntled, former employees. Keep in mind that, in order for websites and
agency offices to keep running, a staff must be employed. Just as in every industry, there will be
unfortunate cases in which a staff member’s employment must be involuntarily
terminated. This is never a pleasant
event, but in rare cases, former employees may seek retribution by making up
stories about their former employers.
7. Look for the
evidence. Regrettably, many reports of
scammers are presented in a “he said, she said” fashion. They are 100% based upon hearsay, rather than
objective evidence. When you read
through these reports, ask yourself “Where is the evidence?” Is the blacklist’s publisher showing you the
email (with headers) and screenshots of the alleged scammer at work…or simply
asking you to take their word for it?
